Wednesday, July 22, 2009

As Promised...

If I were a head turning rock formation, where would I stand? If I were a live life to to the fullest inspired ship, where would I sail? If I were an American, guided by the Stenlund's to extraordinary places, where would I go? That's right... Smogen, Smogen and Smogen. No, it's not a law firm.

Smogen(pronounced sm-air-gun) is a considerably small town that many might refer to as a sea and/or nature lover's paradise. No matter where you go, the view is, as you are about to see, unbelievable. Smogen is, in this humble blogger's opinion, just one more reason to believe in God. The Lord's colorful canvas and undeniably imaginative design is on full display, any time of day, in this place known as Smogen.Behold, the bridge to Smogen. That's all I have to say about that.Rocks, houses, boats, and docks... Smogen screams summer home. But in a gentle, soothing kind of way. You know, like James Earl Jones' voice. Not when he's Darth Vader though, cause that's more of a reverberating, suffocating, death ridden bellow. Anyway, it's nice there.To take this photo, I carefully positioned each of these strangers to offer some variety and scale to the image. A couple people starved due to my thorough methods, but overall I think it was worth it.Speaking of Star Wars a couple images back... this place made me experience Skywalker Hyperventilation. Well, if that existed, it would have anyway. "3PO!!"Having a strange infatuation with the art of pretending to climb, I started to venture towards the light for a better view.
I have to say, this particular place shares an almost uncanny similarity in appearance with the planet in Enemy Mine. Mom, you should know the one I'm talking about.Why does it feel as if the rocks are facing the same way as me? They don't even have faces! Or do they...?After a long talk with her lawyer about how unfair her new form as a giant was, Pauline accepted her destiny and played with real people as if they were Barbie dolls.It could just be my nostalgic love for Hercules and Xena, but this place has epic battle scene written all over it.Eventually, we made our way down to the docks. If this were foggy, I could definitely see it as a level in Silent Hill. Wow, these entertainment references never end with me, do they? It's creepy how much that sign on the left looks like the Hanso Foundation logo(all you fellow Lost freaks know what I'm talking about). I almost expect to see Desmond, Penny and Lil' Charlie sail into the harbor next.
Believe it or not, this photo needed me. We were getting weird looks when we just took photos of those people's boat.I could be wrong about this, but I believe this is the oldest house in Smogen. If not, oopses. Anyway, I can't help but think it would be sweet to film a horror movie there.This is what I look like when I don't wear something on my head. Utter stupification.A common Smogenized street. This one led to the house at which we stayed for our time in Smogen.I'm starting to think Pauline's gianthood is not all that unusual for Smogenites. Ulrika had to discover alternative means of cooking just to reach this ridiculously high stove top.Vanna Whiting this enormous rock with unparalleled grace and sexifidation(even if this word existed, I'd be lying).Apparently the enormous rock thought I was mocking him. After a long talk, he understood that my intentions were purely to mock myself(and Vanna White a little bit). He was cool with that.Once we were friends, the beastly rock let us crab fish in his waters.Pauline braved the jellyfish infested water to make the crabs soon-to-be temporary home sufficiently accomodating. That was pretty wordy. The next caption will be simpler...That crab fishing pole didn't F around.It only took us, oh I dunno, a day and a half to get one? (okay, more like a couple hours of actual attempting)However long it took, he was ours. Bwuahahaha!Once catching one, we seemed to have gotten the hang of it.Bam! One became six in no time! I don't think they were breeding in the tub.The darkness eventually had it's way and we decided to head back after a fun, successful crab fishing trip. Don't worry animal lovers... we returned the crabs to this gentle water before heading back.In celebration of our memory making, we saw it necessary to swing joyously on this random blue tire swing.

And now, my favorite time of any day... time for a Pauline-a-thon!Even the night sky is special in Smogen.No caption needed here. The shirt says it all."The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it." [Psalms 24:1]

And so, the time came when we must depart. Something tells me I'll be back though. If not only in my dreams.

Your Humble Tour Guide,
That American Guy

P.S.
Make sure you read the post below this. Wouldn't want anyone to miss out on the sweet taste of victory.
Even though most of you inevitably will. Wow, talk about contradictory. Am I leading you to your failure or your success? I don't know anymore! Oh well, good luck!

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